Frozen Dunkin' Coffee Fails to Fill Void Left by Coffee Coolatta
Earlier this year, Dunkin’ Donuts announced that they would be removing the famed Coffee Coolatta but replacing it with something called a Frozen Dunkin’ Coffee. Personally, I always thought that the Coffee Coolatta was pretty much a coffee-flavored slushie and was probably my favorite cold coffee beverage around for a long time.
I had to try this ‘Frozen Coffee’ for myself and find out if it could indeed fill the gap that the Coffee Coolatta had left behind.
In fact, Dunkin’ Donuts offers students a 10 percent discount as long as you show your student ID. Sure, I might be a graduate student at this point but I am a student nonetheless.
Though this time around I didn’t have to pull out my student ID because my mother was very generous and treated me to whatever Dunkin’ beverage I wanted. (Thanks, mom!)
Anyhow, I ordered a small because I learned the hard way that sometimes ordering a medium of a new drink isn’t the best idea.
The Look
Obviously, this wasn’t going to be a coffee slushie the way the Coffee Coolatta was.
The Frozen Dunkin’ Coffee had more the look of a milkshake, almost mimicking Starbucks’ Frappuccinos. However, I can forgive that because cold coffees and cold coffee-esque drinks really don’t have much variety among them save for various coffee flavors that can be applied.
The whipped cream on top looked very promising and overall, I was very excited to dive into my Frozen Dunkin’ Coffee.
The Taste: Initial Impression
With gusto and hopes that this new beverage would be able to replace the Coffee Coolatta — at least in spirit since a favorite caffeine-based drink could never really be forgotten — I grabbed a straw and almost as quickly as I’d tasted what I hoped would be a slice of frozen coffee heaven, I’d backed away and stopped drinking it.
The Frozen Dunkin’ Coffee was watery and rather bitter. While the drink was pre-sweetened, it certainly didn’t help the bitterness.
The caffeine-based fantasy that I was imagining was not there and even the much sweeter whipped cream on top couldn’t fix that.
To deal with the watery-ness, my mother suggested that I mix the drink around a little and see if that did anything. It was probably tasting watery because the dairy and the coffee were separating. So, the whole way home I shook the thing in the car.
When we finally arrived home, I grabbed a spoon and went so far as to stir the whipped cream into the frozen coffee.
After Stirring Dunkin’ Frozen Coffee
Even after stirring the sweet whipped cream directly into my bitter sea of coffee, it did not improve the taste.
At first, I thought that the actual coffee in the drink might have been ‘overcooked’ or ‘over-steeped’ as one would say tea leaves can get. I realized coffee grinds aren’t tea but you can have the same too much product to water ratio thing going on or even the opposite so that could’ve contributed to the bitter flavor in my drink.
Then again, maybe the bitterness was because I chose not to add a pump of flavored syrup as another reviewer suggested.
While the Coffee Coolatta is long gone, I never had to worry about adding a flavor to the drink in order to enjoy the taste; The Frozen Dunkin’ Coffee is not the Coffee Coolatta nor will it ever be.
Afterlife of My Frozen Dunkin’ Coffee
As I mentioned, I am a caffeine addict. There was no way I was going to let my Frozen Dunkin’ Coffee go to waste even if I wasn’t very fond of it.
My first idea was to freeze the remnants of my Frozen Dunkin’ Coffee and use it as a ‘base’ for another cold coffee drink.
So, I wrapped the top of my beverage, put it in the freezer for a few hours, until it was time for ‘merienda’ aka ‘coffee time;’ different Spanish-speaking cultures do this at different times. (My family’s version happens at the same time as dinner. But, that’s more our own spin on it.)
Anyway, then I attempted using the now completely frozen remnants of my Frozen Dunkin’ Coffee as a stand in for ‘ice cream’ and adding milk, sugar and then finally hot coffee. This was something of a play off of an affogato. The only difference was that my drink was cold overall. After adding a big dollop of whipped cream to my fake affogato-esque beverage, I think I redeemed the Frozen Dunkin’ Coffee into a much sweeter and enjoyable beverage.
Yet, I still had leftover frozen coffee and I did the only thing I could …
I used the rest of it as a base for a coffee-based shake to have with my breakfast the following day. I added a chopped up Yasso brand chocolate cookie sandwich and a little bit of skim milk. While I didn’t make much of a shake, especially since I didn’t have much of the frozen coffee left over, it was very much enjoyable regardless.
The Final Verdict on The Frozen Dunkin’ Coffee
Sorry Frozen Dunkin’ Coffee, you are NOT a good replacement to the Coffee Coolatta. Really though, Frozen Dunkin’ Coffee is not at all tasty and more of a fuss than anything.
While I had to try this beverage in order to judge the taste for myself, I would never order it again. Even though the option to add a flavor shot to this coffee exists I doubt it would help much. If this was still the beloved Coffee Coolatta, well, there wouldn’t be so many issues with it and I certainly wouldn’t have written this review.
Spare yourselves the disappointment of ordering this beverage, really.
But, fear not: there is a petition to bring back the Coffee Coolatta. I signed it, though I doubt Dunkin’ will listen to its customers in this regard, especially since they ousted the Coffee Coolatta altogether.